Roller Coaster

I felt so optimistic yesterday. Today as much as I hate to admit it, I feel really sad. I think it's just hormonal. I'm sure after this vent I'll feel much better. I see all these girls on TheNest baby boards or on BabyCenter with my due date (or earlier) who have already had their babies. I think I'm ready to admit it...I'm so insanely jealous. I couldn't even watch Baby Story on my sick days because I wished it was me so bad. Every night, with every cramp/twinge I secretly think, "oooh this could be it but I don't want to jinx it"- then nothing. The baby has been so big and so low that I would have bet a million bucks he was going to be early. My 1st day of maternity leave is Monday. Jody was going to start his leave Monday. Every day that the baby isn't here is one less day that we will have off- the 3 of us. I can already tell it's going to be so hard to see Jody go back to work after his paternity leave. Every one I see is asks "oh, no baby yet?" or "can't you just have the baby?". I know that they're excited and I LOVE LOVE that the baby is coming into a family already so excited/in love with him. I'm just frustrated because I'm excited too but I have to put on my "patient mom-to-be" face and I just don't feel patient any more. I want to hold my baby more than anyone, why won't he just come out? =(